Tracy Emin 'My Bed'

“A form of assemblage art” that “almost resembles a crime scene.” Viewers can read the component pieces like detectives, reviewing forensic evidence. It remains one of contemporary art’s most striking depictions of vulnerability, a self-portrait that doesn’t veer from the messiness of depression and heartbreak. In particular, it appealed to viewers who connected their own painful experiences to those implied by Emin’s installation.

“What’s interesting is that the bed is a stage for birth, depressive isolation, and death, It’s a powerful symbolism found in literature and art, in the work of Edvard Munch and William Blake, for example.” Emin’s bed, however, offers a particularly feminine angle on those motifs; her work elevates the anxieties of life as a woman to monumental status.

Vincent Boy Kars 'Drama Girl'

In Drama Girl, a young woman gets the chance to star in a film that reflects her own life story. Where does reality end, and where does the story begin?

Together, they investigate the ways in which people can paint a certain picture of their own life story – and how that picture changes when a traumatic event disrupts the course of the story. As Vincent and the characters delve into Leyla's past, the film asks how drama, as a genre, can help us better understand ourselves and the world around us.

Josephien Hendriks 'Dit Waren Wij'

Filmmaker Josefien Hendriks tries to unravel the family she grew up in by looking back at her father's home videos , her mother's diary entries, her parents' statements and her own memories.

Hendriks was the youngest of three children: the darling who could never do anything wrong. In her memory, it was her brother who was a nuisance, but she was painfully surprised by the cynical comments her father made to her brother from behind his camera. How do family members keep each other trapped in gender roles? And can you still do something about it years later? A film about family: the most beautiful curse there is.

Terrence Malick 'The Tree of Life'

The family matriarch tells us “there are two ways through life: the way of nature, and the way of grace. You have to choose which one to follow. Grace doesn’t try to please itself. It accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. It accepts insults and injuries.”

“Nature only wants to please itself, and others to please it too. It likes to have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy when all the world is shining around it.” 'There are two ways to go through life: nature—cold, selfish, unforgiving; and grace—warm, selfless, giving. The strong survive. The meek are blessed.'

Jack was born into a world of enchantment and light. Sunshine cascades through green canopies to the grass below, bounces off water like rippling gold. It’s a land of discovery, of soap bubbles and sprinklers. And at the heart of it all, Jack sees his mother, as if she made it all happen. His father’s there, too, a strong and stalwart man. And as Jack grows, his father’s presence grows with him. He begins placing demands on the boy. And so Jack watches and learns. Strength is power. Power is good. And Jack begins testing the limits of his own power: The power to strap a frog to a bottle rocket ship, the power to hurt a stray dog, the power to scream at his mother. He longs for more strength, more power.

Themes:

Questions:

What does it mean to go from a boy to a man compared going from a girl to a woman?

How do the roles and expectations in family life influence who we are?

Family

Memories

Roles

Storytelling

Femininity

Masculinity

Listening

Self -Portraits

Violence

Growth

Reflection

Manipulation

Youth

Gia Coppola 'Palo Alto'

Confrontation

The characters in Palo Alto, still living in a world of childhood innocence, have been thrust, perhaps a bit reluctantly, into the world of explicit adult content. It is as if they are stuck in limbo between growing up and staying young, creating an aura of discomfort but believability in the struggle of adolescents. Coppola captures that exquisitely tender, moving moment between fragile, self-interested youth and tentatively more outwardly aware adulthood, a coming into consciousness that she expresses through their broken sentences, diverted glances and abrupt turns.

These characters must learn from their mistakes and embrace the value of experience, therein understanding that they are part of something bigger. One of the integral reflections of the film is that one must adapt and move forward to remain on the shore, or risk the tide carrying her out to sea. As one leaves adolescence, life becomes increasingly less about looking towards the future and more about learning from the immediate circumstances of one’s life, allowing them to shape us and form memories which are the building blocks we use, consciously and unconsciously, to construct our identity.

Deep Listening - Pauline Oliveros

When listening, there is a constant interplay with the perception of the moment compared with remembered experience.

Deep has to do with complexity, boundaries or edges beyond ordinary or habitual understandings.

A subject that is too deep surpasses ones present understanding, or has too many unknown parts to grasp easily.

A deep thinker defies stereotypical knowing, and it may take either a long time or never to understand her.

Listening is very close to what we call consciousness

On Being Certain - Robert Burton

'The feeling of knowing' is a biological state - its a sensation, not a conclusion.

People are not swayed by reason, they're more likely to change their mind through story. Mind changing occurs through epiphanies, not solely through points of reason.

Is there such a thing as a conscious thought, or is a thought just a feeling thanks to memory?

Beliefs are bodily processes, people see them as possessions - that they are fixed, but they can change.

We take our morals, opinions and beliefs too seriously.

How to Know Everything - Elke Wiss

Questions are usually rhetorical and intentional.

We are constantly trying to convince others that we are right rather than taking in someone elses opinion.

A question is an invitation to think, explain, elaborate, discover, connect.

During conversations 60% of the time we are talking about ourselves, and online it's 80%.
(Scientific American 16 July 2013)

Talking about yourself feels biologically better than asking questions due to dopamine in the brain.

We don't ask enough questions as we are scared of making others uncomfortable, making ourselves uncomfortable, conflict and pain.

Gut feeling often overrides rationality.

Too often we use facts as arguments instead of educating or informing.

Having a 'socratic conversation' means figuring out whether people are talking to / arguing with themselves rather than with the other person.

Knowledge and intelligene is seen as better than creativity and critical thinking in our current society.

Figuring people out is a form of power.

People have misconceptions of power, that it's ugly and dirty, but it's got to do with your daily life. All of the villlans in the world were these power hungry people doing evil ugly things. It's a cultural trope that we've all digested.

Much of our lives we cannot control, but theres a margin you can control, and those are usually your relationships. (eg. partner, children, boss, colleagues)

We are animals that need a sense of influence, the feeling of 'helplessness' is a very primal feeling. The sense you can control yourself to a degree and the sense that you can have some influence over people is power. The more you have it the greater the feeling, and the more you will avoid the feeling of helplessness which makes us all crazy.

If you want power in this world, you have to think strategically. Sincerity and stratagy need to go together - 'Those who love peace need to organize themselves as well as those who love war'

In the business world the law of 'crush your enemy' prevails 95% of the time. You don't need to practice it, you just need to be aware of it.

Appealing to people's self interest is important when trying to influence them.

Does intention have any power? Good intention could weaken power, it could also mean they will be happier with that power that they end up getting.

Learn the art of insinuation of persuasion, which often means stepping back, teaching someone a lesson, or mirroring their behaviour.

The best lesson of all, is the ability to detect toxic people before get involved with them. They have learnt how to get power from a young age, so this requires a change in how you perceive people.

The best power is the ability to withdraw your emotions from the moment.

We destroy our own power ourselves by not being able to adapt to certain circumstances and alter our thinking. You have to have a sense of flow, what worked in the past won't work again, every circumstance is new and different.

The problem a lot of people fact today is that their minds are locked, they have one way of thinking about things, they become so conventional, this is the way the world works, this is how it has to be.

The daily laws of Mastery, Power, and human nature - Robert Greene

Are certain aspects of human behaviour best explained by social rather than biological causes?

What is the difference between thought and memory?

How can we best communicate with those who have different expectations than ours?

How do the social roles we fall into influence our willingness to listen to each other?

To what extent do societal expectations interfere with our ability to listen one another?

Is someone less likey to listen after power has been given to them?

Masculinity

What brings Wildlife through the watchable gaze is Carey Mulligan. It’s messy and reckless in the gradual escapade in learning how to fail in an era of female perfection. In a period where women were ‘seen and not heard’, her conversations with her son take a confessional route, breaking taboos and allowing herself to test her independence and femininity. It’s a timely discussion which sadly hasn’t changed or evolved if you’re looking for comparisons to the conscious environment we’re currently inhabiting. Given that Jerry relies on his prideful role as leader and decision maker, Jeanette’s happiness was restricted by her marriage and the conformities of society.

Wildlife is about acceptance and change in an evolving climate, designed to challenge the awkward harshness and the unspoken truths. The fire that threatens the safety of the town serves as a clever symbolism for the slow descent of Jerry (Jake Gyllenhall) and Jeanette’s (Carey Mulligan) crumbling marriage. Through the eyes of Joe Brinston, their son, it’s the quiet powerlessness that cements this entire piece together.

Natural giving vs. the game of who's right

Violence has been made enjoyable by reward, punishment, shame, duty and guilt induction.

'I had to do it' is simply language that denies responsibility.

We have become unable to separate fact and opinion.

'To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence'

Feeling and needs are two separate things. Behind every feeling is a need.

Language such as 'you make me' and 'I feel as I do because you' induces guilt.

When people's full attention is on our needs, they hear no criticism, no demands. But if not, we want to defend and attack, and we loose connection with our natural desire to give.

All needs are universal, we are created by the same energy. What differs is the stratagies we've been educated in for meeting these needs (culture).

Words can be seen as windows or walls - don't hear thoughts, see them as windows to the need that lies behind.

Non-Violent Communication - Marshall Rosenburg

Why we condradict ourselves and confound eachother - Daniel Kahneman

None of us is an equation that computes, although we insist we are rational creatures. The concept of rationality is logic, and it is not possible for the finite human mind to be rational - you'd have to know too much - meaning it would be too difficult to be consistent in all your beliefs.

'Reasons may have very little to do with the real causes of your beliefs - we take them too seriously.'

Constant questioning of yourself and others is a source of creativity, warmth and humility.

System 1 and system 2 thinking is the notion that human behaviour at any given moment is in interplay between two forms of thinking.

System 1 thinking is fast, intuitive and unreflective. (walking, talking, knowing 2+2)
System 2 thinking is slower, deliberate, and analytical. (self control, difficult decisions, correcting yourself and others)

When we become skilled, system 2 thinking becomes system 1 thinking - what used to be slow becomes fast.

Intuition means knowing something without knowing why you know it.

Social psychology had to disguise itself as economics before it had an impact. Economics has a better brand than social psychology.

The real cause of our beliefs is rooted in our personal history and has very little to do with the reasons that come to mind. We take these beliefs way too seriously. It leads to a duel and becomes a kind of game.

There are two moments that play a significant role in pain: the peak of the pain, and how it ends. This has got to do with duration neglect (eg. childbirth)

We overly celebrate and reward overconfidence.

'Not changing your mind, but thinking again'

Paul Dano 'Wildlife'

Denzel Washington 'Fences'

Books

How can storytelling influence the way in which we listen and further understand one another?

How can we look past these societal roles and expectations and communicate in a way which isn’t just trying to convince each other that we know best?